Wise answers to perplexing questions
Dear Answer Lady
I am a die-hard Phillies fan, and my fabulous new boyfriend is true-blue Yankees. Are we doomed? – Phillies Filly
Yes, yes you are. The Answer Lady jests, of course! There are greater obstacles to love than conflicting baseball team allegiances – major political and religious differences, for instance. Or you could be one of those people who thinks the lighthouses at the entrance to Cape May are quaint and charming points of welcome, while he feels they resemble plastic temporary housing facilities built by – and for – drunken gnomes. Or he could be a Scorpio, and you a Gemini. And if that is the case, cut your losses and end it now. If both partners are willing, nearly any romantic obstacle can be overcome, with the possible exception of that Scorpio thing. Restrain yourself from gloating when the Phillies win, or rubbing it in when the Yanks get their butts handed to them. Try not to egg each other on while watching games in public, particularly in those cutesy, new-relationship voices, which is brutal on those around you. If he’s one of those lunatics who screams at the screen as if the players can hear him, or would follow his advice if they could, try a place like The Bayshore. The bar is nice and long, so you can order something to eat – the Answer Lady recommends the chicken quesadilla – and then get as far away from him as necessary until the game is over. The Answer Lady is no sports fanatic, but she is definitely a Phillies fan. In fact, she has rarely missed a Phillies game this season. Although this is primarily because of Jayson Werth, who is, in baseball parlance, smokin’ hot.
Dear Answer Lady
My room-mate is a sports nut. He yells and sometimes throws things at the TV. Sitting in our apartment is one thing, but in public it’s pretty embarrassing. He’s a good guy, but… – Phil’s Friend
Dear Friend of Phil
The Answer Lady had a friend like that – until he married and fell off the face of the earth, but that’s another topic. Once while “watching” a Flyers game with him, he yelled so loud that it caused the Answer Lady to spill nail polish all over her magazine. It sounds like your friend should be confined to your apartment during games – throwing things is not acceptable behavior. Please do NOT take him to The Bayshore for the chicken quesadilla – get it to go.