Wise answers to perplexing questions
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The Answer Lady invites inquiries from gentle readers on all manners of relationship quandaries, matters of the heart, and ethics. If you’d like to send a query, write to info@exitzero.us.
Dear Answer Lady
My husband’s birthday is one week after mine. I like the idea of having a joint party for both of us, and we did throw a good one a few years back. Of course, when I say we, I mean I ended up doing all the work – planning, cooking, and cleaning up. I’ve been hinting about doing it again this year, with him sharing some of the responsibilities, of course, but he doesn’t seem to be picking up on it. Any suggestions? – Birthday Girl
Dear Birthday Girl
The Answer Lady believes that Dave Barry is among the wisest people in the universe. If you don’t know who he is, you should Google him and his exceedingly wise essay “25 Things I’ve Learned in 50 Years.” Among them is this nugget: “There comes a time when you should stop expecting people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11.” This is not to say that the Answer Lady does not believe in celebrating each and every milestone in life – indeed she does. But if your husband is more the getting-together-with-friends-for-dinner type, and you are the throw-me-an-extravagant-party type, you’re just going to have to get your head around the idea of throwing your own extravagant party. Order a nice tray from Seaside Cheese and consider giving Dust Busters a call to help clean up. And remember: “hints” and “husbands” do not play well together. The Answer Lady’s idea of a birthday hint for her husband would involve walking into Caroline Boutique, identifying a pair of shoes, taking a picture, printing it out, writing “I WOULD LIKE THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY” in red marker, and taping it to the television.
Dear Answer Lady
I just started dating a great girl, and her birthday is coming up. She really likes jewelry, but I’m afraid I’ll give her the wrong idea if I buy her a diamond necklace or something. Any advice? – Gift-less
Dear Gift-less
Get thee to Henry’s Fine Jewelry on the mall. While the Answer Lady agrees that an expensive gift too early in a relationship sends the wrong message, a gift of jewelry doesn’t necessarily have to be over-the-top (although if you want over-the-top, they’ve got that too). The wise staff at Henry’s will help you find just the right piece for your girlfriend. There is always time for diamonds down the road.
